I Am the Villain, and I Will Never Win

By Jordan Hales

I am the villain, and I will never win.

My words are laced with venom. My ambition stings. I am never wrong, nor am I right. Vanity is worn on my iron sleeve.

Viridian is my color. Black is my heart. Silver are the swords that stay at my side.

I am the villain, and when you fall, I triumph. I taunt. I tear. I am only a reflection.

I burn, you blunder. Betrayal is a given—by you, by me. I will love you. I will leave you, and you will watch me walk away.

The ground burns in my footprints. Power blazes within me, but not bright enough to light your beacon.

I will be your villain, and you will not praise me. Glory will pour over me in gold, and you will not cheer. They never cheer.

Memories are shadows never blinded. I watch the past fade to grey, but it does not disappear. Thoughts knock the wind out of me. Emotions cut through me. I am not hollow.

I never had a problem being your villain. The problem is yours.

I am not sorry. I am furious. I am desperate. I have everything and I have nothing. My empathy is deeply, deeply hidden.

Your game is not fair, and I refuse to play by your rules. The villain paves her own path. I write my own name. I write clearer with the cloak of midnight.

I am the villain. Yours, I guess.

I appear where I am unseen. I speak when I am not heard. I am bruised. I am guarded. My defense is my army.

I survive. I am not weak, nor am I bulletproof. The battlefield is wide and endless and malevolent.

I am the villain of my own story, you say? You are not my enemy?

I should’ve kept my mouth shut. I could’ve watched you fall. I would’ve allowed the earth to swallow you whole. Every failed plan is a final draft.

You are not my enemy, you say?

You locked me in a tower of stone, and when I ran free and felt the breeze on my skin, you chased after me with chains and vengeance.

I am the villain, and I will never win.

My prose poisons.  

My armor bruises.  

My hands shake.  

My tears drown.  

My heart bleeds.  

I am the villain, and I will never win.  

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