By Maya Mossanen To whom it may concern, My name is Jake Mosley, and I think I am a great fit for your school because….because….well.Maybe I’ll start by telling you a little about myself. I’m from Jefferson Ohio, birthplace of the great State senator Benjamin Franklin wade. Not to be confused with Benjamin Franklin the founding father… I don’t think anyone that important has come out of Jefferson Ohio and I don’tthink that’s changing anytime soon. You can’t add that, you are supposed to convince them that you are the next great thing to come out of Jefferson Ohio, but counselor Addams also said I can’t lie in a college…

By Zoe May Mark and Jen have been driving on I-70 for the past four hours. The roads have not seen rain in almost a month, so they were able to cover a lot of ground with the posted 80 mile per hour speed limit. The summer is supposed to mean green grass and relief from the dry winter, but this summer meant brown and brittle grass as a stark reminder of the man-made drought. Life goes on, or doesn’t in the case of the grass. Their 2010 Toyota Forerunner is the only car on this stretch of road for the last 20 miles. A strange sight for the usually…

by Orion Waters   This is bullshit. I joined this galactic shit show of an army to be the damn hero! Because I’m just that good; I was supposed to be in the officers training course, I was supposed to be climbing the ranks, I was supposed to have made the rank of master chief blowing people up from orbit, I was supposed to be in the Navy, not in these filth ridden trenches with a gunshot wound surrounded by idiots. “Will one of you fuckin Dykes get over here and give me some god damn first aid!” The trenches are in a chaotic mess. Soldiers, scrambling to get to…

by Caleb Rauch   ○ Top 10 Anime Betrayals ○ 15 Shocking Pictures of Kylie Jenner You Won’t Believe ○ 37 Things Conservatives Would Rather Do Than Watch Obama’s State Of The Union Speech ○ 15 Pictures of Hedgehogs With Things That Look Like Hedgehogs ○ 43 Celebrities That Are Only Famous to Other Celebrities Former Mother-In-Laws ○ 21 Foods That Forgot How to Food ○ 5 Reasons Why The Universe Doesn’t Exist (And There’s Nothing You Can Do About It) ○ 44 Salads that Will Make You SCREAM ○ 50 Ways to Murder, Skin, and Otherwise Mutilate a Cat ○ 13 Wedding Gowns That Influenced the 2016 Presidential Election…

by Orion Waters   Galactic Network News “Welcome viewers to GNNT! I’m your host Jeffrey Kyte and here’s my co-host Sydney Lee. It’s 7 o’clock galactic standard time and the date is 11/21/91. Please standby for your local weather report.” Weather APP: The weather is cloudy with a chance of rain. Back to the GNNT. “Welcome back. Here’s a news update on the peaceful protesting on the planet of Mefisto 7. The protests turned violent today and some are calling the protestors victims of police brutality. My co-host Lee is at the scene with more details. Lee?” “Thanks, Kyte. Behind me, you can see the aftermath of the fight between…

by Gabby Pierce   I woke up last night to my wife telling me there was an intruder in the house. She told me to grab the baseball bat from under the bed. I rolled over and told her I hadn’t heard anything and it was just the dog. “Honey, please just check.” “Fine.” I sighed, rolled out of bed, and grabbed the bat. I strolled out of the bedroom, half awake, stumbling as if I was drunk. I checked the bathroom, the kitchen, and even dragged myself downstairs to check the bathroom down there, as well as our family room. Nothing. No one. I went and crawled back into…

By Sarah Cooley —–        Plyll had been in deep cover with the K’alopeon Observation and Infiltration Corps. for an entire planet-cycle, and they were hopelessly bored.  They had originally volunteered for an assignment to the newly discovered planet XB-24357–the natives called it earth–because it had sounded like an exciting opportunity to finally get off their cramped, research-class vessel, and their only other assignment option had been a much colder planet with less moisture in the atmosphere.  An all around bad time. But now, here they were stuck in a frustrating routine of putting on physical-enhancements, attending an academic institution, going through the motions of being a human…

(That’s it, that’s the joke, please don’t sue me for making a punny reference, Disney) By Sarah Cooley —–        I suppose it was my own damn fault.  That’s just what you get for sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong, you would think I’d know better by now, but I guess when I stopped maturing physically it also stalled my mental improvement.  I was never a brains guy anyway, was always ready for a fight, less so for helping with math homework. Eh, I’m getting ahead of myself though. I suppose I should start at the beginning, when I first met Gloria, and defied everything my common-sense told…

by Johanna Kumpula The first time I heard Don’t Fear the Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult, I was sitting in a dingy hospital waiting room riding the tail end of 1982. Hospitals were my entertainment at the time, a whole bunch of sick folk in one area waiting for death knocking on their door to finally get fed up with waiting and break the door down. It was a playground for someone in my profession. Come on baby, don’t fear the reaper. Shuffling through the fluorescent hospital halls that smelled of blood and cleaning supplies, I glanced into each room, looking for my next unsuspecting victim. Room 313 had a…

By Orion Waters   You are awoken by the sound of the alarm on your phone. Still half asleep, you hit nap on the phone and close your eyes, only to be awoken again from the second alarm you set the day before with a message on it,” Don’t hit the nap button this time!” You wake up after cursing the past you for knowing exactly what you would do after the first alarm, so you get up. Still groggy and annoyed, you now sit up and get yourself get out of bed, only to immediately bump your foot on the clothes bin knocking it over. “Fuuuh… of course.” You…